Terrified by Katharine McPhee

This song was shared by Jesselle to me a few minutes ago. She posted it on my Wall and since I clicked that play button, the song was on replay. I nearly killed the replay button. I'm getting LSSed. This is all your fault Jesselle Laserna. :) 


Terrified by Katharine McPhee


You by the light
Is the greatest find
In a world full wrong you're the thing that's right
Finally made it through the lonely to the other side

You said it again my heart's in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows burning in the dark,
And I'm in love and I'm terrified.
For the first time in the last time
In my only life.

This could be good
It's already better than last
And love is worse than knowing
You're holding back
I could be all that you needed
If you let me try

You said it again my hearts in motion
Every word feels like a shooting start
I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows burning in the dark
And I'm in love and I'm terrified
For the first time in the last time
in my only

I only said it cause i mean it
I only mean cause it's true
So don't you doubt what i've been dreaming
Cause it fills me up and holds me close
Whenever i'm without you

You said it again my hearts in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
Watching the shadows burning in the dark
And I'm in love and I'm terrified
For the first time in the last time
In my only life



Highlighted are my favorite lines of the song. :D

Summer, I don't feel you. I'd like to stay with St. Anne. :D

Why do I feel like I don't want it to be summer yet when I'm always complaining about studying and doing too much homework? Well, maybe because I would always remember the fun and challenges that I and my classmates went through which resulted to a bond that is worth more than a zillion bucks. I can never truly express how I enjoyed the school year and it's all because of my classmates whom I shared barrels of laughs with. There were situations that attempted to break us apart but we did not allow it to overcome us. We battled with pressure, change and emotional situations with oneness and unity. We did not allow our differences to be a hindrance for us to unite as a family. Instead, it became our key to attain victory. We used our different talents and skills for the greater good of the group instead of the good of oneself alone. I can proudly say that we had priceless memories to last a lifetime. I already said this but I can't help saying it again. I would always be proud to say that I was part of St. Anne. It is not about the achievements we had. It is the bond we made together that will always stay in our hearts.

Surely, I will miss laughing at the jokes of the comedians in class. It is what keeps me alive in times when I feel like I am drifting off and is about to fall asleep. It is what keeps me going when my brain feels like it's going to explode. It lightens my mood when I didn't get enough sleep because I was studying or doing a project. Remembering my bloopers and talking about it with my friends is another thing to miss. Screaming for every victory achieved by the group is another. Oh, there are too many things to miss during the summer. 

I know things will be different next year and I can't help but wonder why it can't stay like that. Well, as they say, change is inevitable. There will always be memories to reminisce on, though. It could stay with you forever and becomes a part of who you are. I don't say this much but I love you, girls. :)  

Could it be?

"An 8.9 magnitude earthquake in shook Japan unleashing a powerful tsunami that sent big ships crashing to the shore and carried cars through the streets of coastal towns. "

A passage from the BIBLE: 

Mt 24:6-7; 14

⁶And ye shall hear of wars and rumours of wars: see that ye be not troubled: for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet.

 ⁷For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: and there shall be famines, and pestilences, and earthquakes, in diverse places.

 ¹⁴And this gospel of the kingdom shall be preached in all the world for a witness unto all nations; and then shall the end come.

This tsunami in Japan's got me thinking about the apocalypse or the end of everything. While I was watching the television, the movie '2012' flashes in my mind. I couldn't help but think about the question that's been bothering me since the earthquake in Haiti. Could this be the end? God holds our destiny. He will be the only one who can decide what happens to us in the future. But this prediction made me think about how I lived my life. I realized that we should live our lives to the fullest and find hope even in the darkest time of our lives. Everything happens for a reason, so they say. Let us be positive and hope that this tsunami is just a wake up call for us and let us in turn respond to it dutifully. Let us hope that this will pass and will just be part of Japan's history and the world's. Let us find hope in God and let us not allow to get caught up in our little bubbles and forget that we are part of the bigger picture. Let us pray for Japan and all the other countries affected including our own. Don't let this get you down. We have a God bigger than the tsunami and he will not do anything that will hurt us. 

"Keep calm and pray for Japan and the rest of the world."

It's the CLIMB

This was taken on the bus on the way to Ajuy.
From right: Yzabel, Me, Jesselle, Awie & Mandee
Credits to Justine for the photo!

We had our excursion trip last February 24. ( Sorry, I really didn't have any time to write about it here sooner). We went to Camp Regulus and Gawad Kalinga in Ajuy. Ajuy is my mother's home town and I go there every weekend. I didn't think I'd learn as much as I did with the other field trips I had in the previous years since I was going to a place I knew and visited probably for the millionth time. I was very wrong to think that. The field trip in my own home town made me realize things I never thought I would. It is also the most unforgettable excursion trip ever... at least for now.

I have entered Camp Regulus before just to go swimming. I didn't think there was more to it than the pools but again, I was wrong. Camp Regulus is a good hiking site. In Camp Regulus, you have to cross streams, and climb up a mountain to see a very beautiful waterfall at the end of the trail. We had a chance to taste the water falling from the waterfall. The water made me feel like I was drinking purified water cooled in a fridge. It was delicious. While you're going to the waterfall, you'll see picturesque views of mountains and rice fields. After seeing the waterfall, we had our lunch and after that we were wowed by the Arnis tricks shown to us by the children there. The most memorable part comes next. We climbed a very high mountain that made us crawl, destroy a lot of plants (Don't worry. We said sorry to the plants. It was slippery so to avoid falling and sliding down, we held on to the plants), have our pants looking like crap, and get some of us crying and injured. The pathway seemed to get steeper and steeper with each step. We got to where the trail ends breaking the record of the former second year students. We went down the same way. The pathway was too elevated that some of us decided to sit on the ground to slide down that was the part that made our pants look like crap. It was also the part where we had to hold the plants and have them get destroyed (Plants, sorry again.) I slid 3 times but I was able to regain my balance. I used to go to my grandmother's garden were you also have to climb a mountain (It was nothing compared to this!) so I was easier for me (kind of). It was worth it anyway since on top of the mountain, you get to see a breathtaking view. Of course, we were weary and thirsty after going through all that but we had still one more place to go. We went to Gawad Kalinga. The staff, the people and since Mayor Alvarez couldn't come, his daughter, Isabella Alvarez welcomed us warmly.  They informed us about Gawad Kalinga, they offered us entertainment (In this part, I couldn't help but shake with laughter) where Mr. Secular, Christie and Kylie joined in a dance number. We also had snacks. It was very native and I loved it.

We all went home smiling. You could even probably count our teeth.

In this excursion trip I learned:

• that we have a lot of resources to depend on if we let nature have it's way.
• it is true that on a very difficult journey, you'll find something beautiful in the end of the trail.
• there are too many things we take for granted and don't even appreciate.
• there are people experiencing hardships and problems bigger than ours so we should stop complaining and do something about it instead.
• there are more to life than what we expect

Every step I’m taking,

Every move I make feels

Lost with no direction

My faith is shaking but I

Got to keep trying

Got to keep my head held high

There’s always going to be another mountain

I’m always going to want to make it move

Always going to be an uphill battle,

Sometimes you going to have to lose,

Ain’t about how fast I get there,

Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side

It’s the climb

The struggles I’m facing,

The chances I’m taking

Sometimes they knock me down but

No I’m not breaking

The pain I’m knowing

But these are the moments that

I’m going to remember most yeah

Just got to keep going

And I,

I got to be strong

Just keep pushing on

On the way to see the waterfalls, we paused to have a picture.
With Yzabel, Mandee and Christie.
Credits to Awie.

Guilt-ridden.

I am supposed to study for a Math test tomorrow but then I figured that I wouldn't understand a thing when something is occupying my mind. I feel such strong remorse at the moment. So, I felt like making a blog post just to lessen the effect of the feeling and I can somehow get those Math formulas into my head. My conscience has been bugging me since I got out from the classroom 3 hours ago. I feel really bad. The reason for such guilt?  I feel like I have said or did something that has hurt a person very dear to me. I don't like being the reason for people's misery especially people who are dear to my heart. I sometimes say things that I don't think twice about and then afterwards, I regret saying it. I hate seeing people (especially somebody who has usually a bubbly personality) with that pained expression and then when I think about it, I realize that I am responsible for such. I may have just said a little statement but I couldn't help but get guilt-stricken. I hate seeing a face that feels like it cannot somehow be painted. 


I have decided I have to say sorry to that wonderful person tomorrow. She would probably not remember that offense I had since she's a person that always looks at the bright side of people. She's bubbly and shares her smiles and laughter to everyone. It's shameful to admit that I was responsible for her unhappiness. It's not fair to cause her sadness when she has brought a barrel of laughs and fun into my life. 


I am so sorry, dear friend. 

"Friends are the sunshine of life."

-John Hay

Ending this blog post, I realize I feel much better but then there is still a part that wants to eat me.  I wish tomorrow will be a better day. 

Change's challenge.

"I have accepted fear as a part of life ---specifically the fear of change...I have gone ahead despite the pounding of the heart that says: turn back."  

~Erica Jong

We all know that everything in this world changes. I have a fear of change. I was always reluctant to try something new. For the past 4 years, I have not imagined myself playing a ball game for my tribe. This year's intramural was an opportunity for me to experience something that I have never faced.

I joined softball because it's the only sport that I can think of joining and besides, Chelsi is joining, too. It's my first time to play a ball game for my tribe and I just learned how to play through my P.E. class. Thinking about playing gave me chills but there was no backing out, I had to do it. When I told my mom and dad that I would be playing, they teased me about how I would probably miss the ball. They say I'm a loser at sports, I agree with them. It's not that I'm putting myself down. It's just that it was a known fact about me all my life. We all know our own capabilities and weaknesses. Playing sports is my biggest weakness. Balls doesn't seem to like me that much. :) Anyway, despite the teasing, I didn't withdraw although my hand was already sweating hard. Before our first game with the Zebulun tribe, I got to meet who I was playing with.  They were so nice and they didn't pressure me. I was comfortable playing with them. We had a little practice and that was when I knew that I was so bad at catching the ball. We won by one point. It was a fun game since I was playing with Chelsi against Marion so for us, it was merely a friendly game. We lost on the 2nd game against Issachar. On the 3rd game with Mannasseh, we won. The last game made me jump and hug Chelsi. I felt like I wanted to scream of joy. We were going to the championship! I couldn't believe a loser like me could reach the championships. The night before the day of our last game, I was edgy. I couldn't be still so I decided to sleep at 8:30pm. The next morning was doom's day. My heart felt like breaking through my chest. To cut the long story short, we lost again to Issachar. It's fine, though. We were in 2nd place. I guess the reason why it's easy for me to accept defeat is because I was used to losing all the time. Well, like the famous saying goes, "Winning isn't everything---but wanting to win is." 

Change isn't so bad after all. It is something we experience everyday. We should just embrace it and learn to live with it. Also, we shouldn't let fear overcome us and give up. Instead, we should just feel the fear and do it anyway. A quote from Henry S. Haskins says, "Panic at the thought of doing a thing is a challenge to do it." 

One Thing I Can Never Live Without.

I cannot live without my iPod. Even if it's a bit out-dated already. All  the glory is now given to the iTouch. I want to have one of those, too but it's so expensive. Besides, I still have an iPod that I can listen to no matter where I go. It was given as a gift from my aunt in the States.

The main purpose of my iPod is to keep me entertained when I go on long trips. I usually go to the farm during weekends so it is used a lot. I don't like just sitting on the vehicle doing nothing. I would want to read in the car but then my mother would  scold me since it would ruin my eyesight. So, when my tita gave it to me, I was so happy. I also use my iPod to drown all the noise. I get distracted with my reading when there is noise. I could not understand what I'm reading when there is so much noise. I have also developed love for music since I got piano lessons, I listen to music everyday. Sometimes, I get lazy to open the computer or get the radio so my iPod saves the day again.